What is Grief?
Grief is defined as a deep sorrow, especially associated with the death of a loved one. It is the emotional response to loss, what is felt.
Loss is what happens to us, and grief is what happens inside of us. The way we interact with grief is our individual mourning process.
Although grief affects everyone slightly differently depending on a multitude of factors, there are common presentations that might be expected when a child experiences the loss of a parent or a significant presence in their lives. The list includes:
sadness, anxiety, depression (Ayers, 2013; Bergman et al., 2017; Cerel et al., 2006; Ener, 2018; Joy, 2023; Lutzke, 1997)
anger (Knight, 2023; Rosaldo, 1989)
feeling disconnected from peers (Ayers, 2013; Hoppe, 2025; Knight, 2023)
clinging, isolation (Ener, 2018)
negative effects on self-esteem and self-concept (Ener, 2018)
loss of a sense of control over self and environment (Hoppe, 2025; Lutzke, 1997)
disruptive behaviors at school and home, poorer academic performance, aggression (Ayers, 2013; Ener, 2018; Hoppe, 2025; Joy, 2023; Lutzke, 1997; Oosterhoff et al., 2018)
somatic issues (Ayers, 2013; Bergman et al., 2017; Ener, 2018; Worden & Silverman, 1996)
trouble with emotional regulation (Hoppe, 2025)
The care a child receives immediately following a loss is directly related to both short-term and long-term behavior and emotional development. If the grief is not addressed, ongoing struggles will continue (Bergman et al., 2017; Ener, 2018; Howarth, 2011).
Prolonged Grief Disorder
Unaddressed Grief
Prolonged Grief Disorder PGD) has relatively recently been included in both the 11th edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11; WHO, 2018) and in Section II of the text revision of the 5th Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Psychiatric Disorders (DSM-5-TR; APA, 2020). Studies have shown that unprocessed grief in children leads to a higher rate of mental disorders, major depression, schizophrenia (Arslan, 2022; Joy, 2023), higher rates of mortality in childhood, adolescence and into early adulthood (Rostila & Sarrela, 2011; Li et al., 2014), a higher chance of suicide (Arslan, 2022; Guldin et al., 2015; Joy, 2023; Rodway, 2022), and are 175% more likely to develop substance abuse in adulthood (Burrell, 2022). Untreated grief in children results in a society of unintegrated adults, ensuring the cycle of disconnection continues.
What's the difference?
Childhood Bereavement
Children grieve differently from adults. The most obvious contrast stems from the emotional and cognitive development of a child versus that of an adult. For this reason, several stark differences occur.