About WindHorse
We are a 501c3 nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing grief by putting books in school libraries.
Loss in life is inevitable. Wrapped within this truth is a hopeful timeline of when and how these losses will occur: we will live long, happy lives—healthy till the end. We believe this to be true of ourselves and of those we love—especially when we are children. A child does not expect to lose a parent or a sibling; however, 1 in 11 children in the United States will experience this type of loss before the age of 18 (Judi's House, 2025). This statistic jumps to 1 out of every 2 children when we include close family members and friends (Joy, 2023). These statistics are harrowing, especially when we understand the detrimental effects unprocessed grief can have on the child, their family, and the community. However, years of research have provided us with best practices for working with children, and specifically when working with bereaved children. The foundation of which is communication and community. One tool that has proven useful in various settings is bibliotherapy.
What is Grief?
Grief is defined as a deep sorrow, especially associated with the death of a loved one. It is the emotional response to loss, what is felt. Mourning, on the other hand, is what is done in response to grief (Jakoby, 2012). Active mourning and the processing of grief are both imperative for successfully moving forward after loss. Grief is multifaceted and includes many emotions, often simultaneously, which makes the understanding of grief especially challenging for children (Pehrsson, 2005). Complicating the situation even further is Western culture’s tendency to not only disvalue emotions that don’t “feel good,” but to ignore key aspects of grief, namely anger and rage (Rosaldo, 1989). The Western medical model has traditionally proposed the trajectory of “normal grief,” instructing the bereaved how to grieve with the end goal of recovering life before the loss (Jakoby, 2012). However, grief is anything but linear, and life after loss is not a recovery to what existed before, but rather a continuous reshaping of one’s reality dependent on interpersonal, family, and social interactions (Jakoby, 2012; Shapiro, 2007). Loss is what happens to us, and grief is what happens inside of us. The way we interact with grief is our individual mourning process.
Childhood Bereavement
The care a child receives immediately following a loss is directly related to both short-term and long-term behavior and emotional development. If the grief is not addressed, ongoing struggles will continue (Bergman et al., 2017; Ener, 2018; Howarth, 2011). Prolonged Grief Disorder PGD) has relatively recently been included in both the 11th edition of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11; WHO, 2018) and in Section II of the text revision of the 5th Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Psychiatric Disorders (DSM-5-TR; APA, 2020). Studies have shown that unprocessed grief in children leads to a higher rate of mental disorders, major depression, schizophrenia (Arslan, 2022; Joy, 2023), higher rates of mortality in childhood, adolescence and into early adulthood (Rostila & Sarrela, 2011; Li et al., 2014), a higher chance of suicide (Arslan, 2022; Guldin et al., 2015; Joy, 2023; Rodway, 2022), and are 175% more likely to develop substance abuse in adulthood (Burrell, 2022). Untreated grief in children results in a society of unintegrated adults, ensuring the cycle of disconnection continues.
Best Practices
Communication & Community
Although the impact of not addressing grief in children is grim, there are clear best practices when working with this diverse population. Open communication cannot be emphasized enough. Often, adults underestimate a child’s ability to process death and will therefore withhold conversations surrounding the loss. The effects of grief are worsened when adults try to shield children from the experience by avoiding conversations about the event, the person, or the loss. Open and continuous communication about the death is associated with less depression and anxiety.
Bibliotherapy
Grief is highly individual, diverse, and complex. Although it is normal and natural to feel sadness, anger, fear, and anxiety all at the same time when processing grief, it can be devastating for children who often lack the language to process such complex emotions. It is intense and shatters the inner stability one once knew. Further, adults often find it difficult to speak about death and/or loss with children, causing the bereaved child to feel isolated and alone. By providing resources within a school library, children and adults will have the tools they need to begin conversations and help process the emotions connected to grief.